Our Paris weekend started at about 2.45am when we got out of bed and started to get ready for our holiday, ness cut some sandwiches and I made a flask of coffee ready for our trip. We had done all the packing that needed doing the night before so we was

 All ready, I went up and had a shower followed by ness, then we got dressed and had another coffee while we waited for Gary to pick us up and take us to Cwmbran railway station to meet the bus that was to take us to Dover to meet the ferry that would be taking us over to France. Gary arrived at ten to five in plenty of time to get us to our destination he helped us put everything in his car and off we went arriving at the station at about 5 am in plenty of time, after we had been standing there for about five minuets with our luggage beside us talking to Gary and being the only people anywhere in sight a taxi pulled up a few yards from us, thinking nothing of it as we was waiting for a bus we carried on talking to Gary, who then decided it was time for him to go home and back to bed, so he got in his car and we waved him off.

We stood there for another 20 minuets with no sign of a bus that was at least 10 minuets over due, at that point I decided to ring the Edwards bus company to see if the bus was late, to my surprise they said oh we have sent a taxi down to pick you up and take you to meet the bus at Newport, so that taxi with the dopey driver had been

Almost next to us looking at us for at least half an hour, I walked over and said it seems your waiting for us, he said are you Mr and Mrs baker I said yes we sure are

So keeping my cool we put our cases in the boot of the taxi and got in, the taxi driver

Drove us to meet the bus at Newport with not a lot of talking on the way, I was dieing to say something to the silly man but kept quiet as I was getting the don’t say anything look from Ness. We arrived at the bus just across from Newport bus station; we had not held them up long as they had been waiting for a few others to arrive, we got our cases from the taxi and gave them to the driver of the bus, who’s name was martin by the way. We boarded the bus said a quick “hello” to every one as we got on and took up our seats numbers 7 and 8 on the right side of the bus only one full seat away from the driver. Another 5 minuets and we were ready to go, the driver started up the bus and we was on our way to Dover to meet the Ferry.                   

Our Paris weekend part two

It was a very long ride to Dover with one stop at the services

About half way then on to Dover, we reached Dover at around half past one

But not quite sure, I know we had to get on the ferry at 2pm so we had a little time to look around the ferry port at the shops and café’s before boarding.

We drove on to the ferry for our one and a half hour journey then as we got near to France we had to put our clocks and watches forward an hour to be the same time as the French, we all got off the ferry at Calais and boarded our bus for the 300 plus ride to Paris and our Hotel stopping only once at a French   services for a walk about and a coffee. During the journey the driver told us about a river cruse and a four-course meal and all the free wine you could drink that we could all go to for the sum of 60 euros for the meal and twenty-four for the boat ride up the river seine in Paris. so while we was at the services we all paid him the money.

 Ness was quite blown away looking at all the strange French food, and wondered if they did egg and chips but she had no luck, so we just had a cup of very dark coffee.

After our half hour rest up we got back on the bus and carried on to Paris.

 We had quite a bit of food with us to eat on the bus and ness had brought along bags of crisps and a bottle of orange pop plus other bits, it was a very very long ride we got talking to a few other people close to us, in the front four seats there was four middle aged woman some married some not they turned out to be quite a lively bunch later on our holiday, sitting opposite us was another middle aged woman with her husband who was as we was to find out later unable to walk and had a wheelchair.

The directly behind us was an other middle aged woman who had come on holiday with her twin sons of 16 they turned out to be nice boys and a lot of fun.

We met others as the holiday went on but these people where close enough for us to

Chat with on the bus; it seemed like an age riding on that bus I fell asleep at least five times only to wake and see yet another corn field.

Then at last we started to see road signs for Paris, and just as we reached Paris we had one almighty rainstorm that lasted for at least 15 minuets and every car on the road was driving in 3 feet of water, we have never seen rain like it before in our lives.

Then all of a sudden it stopped and by the time we had reached our Hotel about 4 miles outside Paris the roads was bone dry apart from the odd puddle. We got to the Hotel about 7.30pm it had been a very long trip. 

Our Paris weekend part three

At the hotel at last, the bus parked up across the road from the hotel

That was situated in a kind of square with a water feature built in the middle

So we had to cross two roads to reach it.

The road was quite busy with cars driving up through and on to the road above.

And pulling our own cases was no mean feat, as it was also very hot.

The hotel consisted of two parts a main block and a second block separated by an arch. The bar and lounge and breakfast rooms where part of the main block,

I waited outside with the cases while ness went in to get the keys to our apartment.

The key turned out to be a punch card with holes that fitted the lock on the door.

 Our room as we called it was 28,it was not in the main block but in the second one and we had quite a few stairs to climb to reach it, there was a lift but guess what it was out of order,  our room consisted of a bed a door less cupboard of sorts

That had a flat screen TV on it and a large mirrored wardrobe with sliding doors but

Nothing with draws in to put your socks and underwear and other bits.

There was a very nice bathroom with built in shower and bath and toilet, plus a large mirror. It was what we called basic but clean, the one big drawback was no kettle

For making a cup of coffee or tea seems they don’t supply them in France.

After emptying our suit cases as best we could leaving quite a bit in the cases

We both lay back on the bed and had a bit of a rest for about half hour but first we

Opened the large bay windows to let some air in.

After our rest and a bit of a wash and brush up we decided to go and explore the hotel

And surrounding area, this did not take to long as there was not that much to see just a few shops (a bread shop) (a paper shop) and a clothes shop and a few roads leading off the square with a few houses we could not see much else so we walked back to the hotel and went in the lounge had a coffee that cost us six euros and a chat with a few others off the bus, some happy with there rooms and some not, after a while it was time to go back to our room and get ready for bed, I had a mess about with the TV but

Could not find any English channels, by now we was both feeling quite done in so we

Cleaned or teeth got undressed and got into bed. And went off to sleep thinking of

What the day would bring tomorrow.         

Our Paris weekend part 4

Well here we are our first real day in Paris, can’t say we slept much even if we was very tired I would have thought we might have slept after travelling over 500 miles

By bus and boat in a day with only two stops.

So here we go better get up, got to be down to breakfast by eight thirty and on the bus by nine thirty, could murder a cup of coffee but all we got is a swig of pop and a Jamie dodger then its have a wash get into some clean clothes and off down to breakfast. We was a bit early so had a bit of a walk about, it was nice and sunny for our first day with a nice cool breeze, I liked the breeze because it had been hot in our room even with the windows open, met a few people off our bus had a chat about what was planned for today then it was time to go in for our continental breakfast.

We had no idea what to expect only what I had looked up on the net and that didn’t

Look like much.

As we walked in we could see lots of small tables some to sit four and some to sit two

And one long table at the back that looked like it would sit about eight.

Each table had enough plates for every person sitting and on each plate was half a French roll and a triangular thingy called a croissant and also a cup and saucer.

I thought its worse than I thought we are not getting much to eat, then I looked around and saw that in the corner was a machine for making tea coffee or chocolate plus loads of little tubs of jam and little slabs of butter plus a plate filled with slices of ham, And also a large container of cornflakes. You had to help yourself to everything also collect your own cutlery, so we made our way to a table for two picked up our cups and headed for the coffee machine, the room was quite full with all our coach party but we managed to get all that we wanted, Ness put jam on her rolls while I had ham on mine, everyone was very friendly and we all joked about the food and how we could murder a bacon and eggs. Then when everyone had eaten it was time to board the bus for our first full day in Paris.           

Our Paris weekend part five                 

Well here we go on our way to a day out in Paris we saw some wonderful sights from the bus window, some the same as home but others very strange indeed.

The roads seem to be very straight instead of going over when they come to a bit of hill they go through it and make an under pass, oh and they love their trees they have trees and parks everywhere even more than we do here at home, and lots of strange shaped houses to, in Paris itself   the building are very big and very tall and very old with lots of statues of animals and old Greek gods a lot of the statues are covered in gold they looked quite outstanding. After being driven around for awhile the driver or Martin as we now called him dropped us off in the centre of Paris in its main shopping area and told us we had about four and a half hours to have a look about and have dinner and do a bit of shopping, we all thought that a good idea until we got to the shops and saw the prices, there was a lot of small stands selling all sorts of things on the streets but the main shops were very large at least seven stories high and full of everything you could imagine, and by going up all seven stories you could go out onto the roofs of the buildings and you had a wonderful view of Paris and you could see the Eiffel tower way off in the distance. I took some outstanding photos; it was a good job we took note of where we had to meet the bus because we walked our feet off going around looking at everything we could. Oh and we both had an outstanding ice-cream you could have any flavours you wanted and the ice-cream was made up to look just like a rose it looked outstanding with all the different colours. Later   

We found a small café, Ness had tea and I had coffee and we both had a cheese roll

 Believe me it cost an arm and a leg. Later we bumped into a family off our bus they was two school teachers with their young daughter we had a chat walked along with them for a while all taking in the sights and sounds of Paris, oh did I mention I have never seen so many people in my life, all kinds of people from all over the world and quite a few Chinese they was everywhere. All to soon it was back to meet the bus to take us back to the hotel to get ready for our date at the French restaurant for our four course meal and all the wine we can drink for free, it was about 5.30 pm when we got back to the hotel and our meal was set for eight p m so we had a few hours to rest up and then wash or shower and change, everyone on the bus was very excited about it.

Quite a few of them thinking about the free wine rather than the food.

 We got off the bus and went straight to our room as we was both done in, we would have loved a cup of tea or coffee but as we could not have it in our room we just had some orange pop and lay down for a while to tired to go to the main building to get a

Coffee or tea it would have cost us six euros anyway and we wanted to hang on to our money for later.           

Our weekend in Paris part six

We had a nice rest in our hotel room then I had a shower and shave

Ness had a shower and we got ready for our nice French meal we all got on the bus about seven fifteen we reached our destination about seven forty five it was down a little back street in Paris the Restaurant was called La Montmatre we all left the coach and waited across the road for a few minuets then we were all called across, it was quite a large place already half full of people, we were shown our tables that already had a bottle of red wine and glasses all set out on then each table could sit six people so we had two ladies and a gentleman sat opposite us and another lady sat next to me on our side of the table, they where all from our coach so we all got on very well.

Even better as the night went on.

Looking around we could see that the Restaurant was full with two other coach parties

One a German coach and the other a Spanish coach, and with each coach holding about 60 people then you could say that the place was quite full. It was kind of split level so you could not see everyone and I guess everyone could not see you. But you could sure hear everybody when the singing started.

Everyone started on the wine as soon as they got seated we only had one glass as we was waiting for our meals to arrive. The waiter came and asked what madam and mesoir wanted and he said it was soup or pate first course, the soup was onion soup so we both had that, it was in a large bowl topped with crutons and grated cheese.

I quite liked mine but ness just ate the soup and left the rest of it.

Then the second course was beef stroganoff, veal or fish all with veg and this flat potato thingy that was flat and had cheese in it. I had the beef stroganoff and Ness had the veal I was afraid to tell her how it was made she would never have eaten it.

The third course was cheese and biscuits and the last course was baked Alaska before serving the baked Alaska he came in with it on a tray and the whole thing was on fire I was mad because I missed getting a picture of it but my camera was way down in my pocket at the time.

In-between all the food we had of course been drinking the wine.

I never went over the top mind I just had a few glasses, Ness was the same as she was not to fussy on the flavour it was a bit dry they did give us some black current to put in the wine that made it taste a bit better.

The fun started when a Frenchman with an accordion came round the tables playing any tune you wanted as long as you could sing it. But as soon as you sang a few words everyone would join in, it was a lot of fun, we sang viva espanea to the Spanish and they sang the green green grass of home for us and we sang to the Germans to but

Not sure what it was all I know is it was a real good night and everybody got on with everybody.

We all left about ten thirty still singing and boarded the bus to go back to the hotel.

It was dark by now so the driver took us all on a night time ride around Paris so we could see it all lit up, he also pointed out all the ladies of the night waiting to pick up men for money there was quite a few even an older woman sat in a chair by the side of the road. It was about eleven thirty by the time we got back to the hotel so we all went straight to our rooms and to bed, had to be up by eight thirty ready to have our breakfast and off again by nine thirty.

Our Paris weekend part seven

Well what can I say we had a wonderful time last night but boy are we tired this morning, seven forty five and we are up and about getting ready for our breakfast

At eight thirty. So it’s a quick swig of tango and a Jamie dodger and take my blood pressure tablet then wash and get dressed, the same routine for Ness and we are out of our apartment and down the stairs, and without much hanging about its in for breakfast. I had the same as yesterday plus an extra ham roll as Ness had cornflakes instead as she ended up with a bit of tooth ache from biting on her French roll yesterday. We were sat quite close to the two teachers and their daughter aged about seven or eight we joked about her pushing her dad over board when we went on the boat today so I could get a good picture of him as he fell in the water.

Then it was nine thirty once more and time to board the bus for the day’s adventures.

The driver took us around Paris for about an hour looking at more wonderful sights then he dropped us all off at the Versailles Estate that consisted of a very large Palace and as we were to find out very large gardens to, we had quite a surprise as we pulled into the huge car and bus park two men were in the middle of having a pee against the outside wall of the palace grounds, we all had a good laugh as they hurried away. Martin parked up the coach and told us we had about three hours to have a look around, the place was awash with people of every race you could think of with one hell of a line of people waiting to get into the palace so we decided on seeing the garden. They were letting people in quite quickly to the gardens and it cost us eight euros each but as we found out later it was money well spent.

 The gardens were outstanding and went out in all four directions as far as the eye could see, full of lawns, flowers, fountains and statues and at least five lakes we have never seen anything like it before, and I doubt we will again.

My camera finger was sore from clicking and our legs ached from walking but we loved every minuet of it all, but we still only managed to cover about one quarter of it.

We had brought some crisps and pop and other bits with us so we sat in the shade and rested for about fifteen minuets looking around at all the sights and sounds going on around us, there were hundreds of people in the garden but it was so large it only seemed like a few.

 We left the garden in plenty of time to find a little café to have a cup of coffee that cost us five euros but they was very small cups, oh I forgot to mention the weather was wonderful very hot and sunny.

Then it was time to get back on the bus and head for the Eiffel tower and boy was that place full of people the entire area around and under the tower as full to bursting so I had a dogs chance in hell of ever getting up the tower like I wanted to. Martin the driver said if you wanted to go up the tower you would be waiting at least three hours and then another three to get down, and from the amount of people I could see he was dead right, and that it might have been even longer. So I satisfied my self with taking enough pictures of it to build my own and we went off to look around a few gift shops.

Ness bought a nice key ring for her bag that cost five euros and a small one for my brother Dai who had asked her to bring him one of the Eiffel tower that cost one euro.

I was feeling a bit hungry so I bought a slice of pizza for five euros, yep food costs a bomb and I nearly bought what I thought was chips that turned out to be crisps for two euros, but I declined them.

Our Paris weekend part seven (continued)

We left the tower just in time for us all to catch the four thirty boat trip up the river seine. That was quite a trip they sure pack them in on them boats.

But it was a wonderful ride all the same, watching all the sights and sounds as we glided up the river just past Notre dame and then back again the trip took about an hour I took quite a few photos.

Then it was back on the bus by five forty five and heading for another well known

Part of Paris the Moulin rouge boy was that part of town an eye opener.

Had a bit of trouble with the bus there, we all got off and I had my big camera as well as my small one, but when I got off and looked around at this part of Paris I thought it would be safer if I left my large camera on the bus, so I nipped back to the bus a bit quick and put the camera in our bag then decided to have a quick pee before getting off, but while I was in the loo Martin decided it was time to go pack the bus up someplace else so he pulled away with me still in the loo and poor Ness left standing on the pavement, I had to make a quite dive and get him to stop real quick, it gave ness quite a fright.

So here we all are in the real Paris lots of shops that you would never take your mother into and as usual lots of people to. We found quite a few nice gift shops to look around and other shops that sold very interesting items one side of the road they had a large fountain with a few seats around it, but this part of Paris had nothing on what we had seen yesterday.

 Then we saw a sight that lit up our eyes it was a Mc Donald’s oh real food at last.

In we went and had chicken bites and fries and a cup of coffee. Ness sure enjoyed them chicken bites.

About eight thirty we headed back to the bus legs done in and ready for a sit down.

Martin then took us on another little run to see a nice view of this wonderful church

Who’s name escapes me at the moment. Then it was back to the hotel about ten so we could get on with some packing ready for our early start back home tomorrow.

Breakfast was at eight a m.        

Our Paris weekend part eight

Having done just about all the packing last night we woke up about seven a m and got ready for our last breakfast in Paris, after having a wash and brush up we got dressed and packed away the last of everything that needed packing so leaving our cases in our room we headed down to breakfast, as we got to the main building we could see everybody sitting in the lounge area waiting to be called in, so in we went the mood seemed a bit quiet I don’t think anyone wanted to go home so soon or maybe we was just all done in from the day before.

We got the word that breakfast was ready so we all trooped in and had our last rolls, cornflakes and coffee or tea chatted about the wonderful two days we had and then it was time to board the bus, we had a better welcome leaving than coming in as the sun was out and shining brightly, we all had one quick look at everything as we drove out of Paris then it was on our way to Calais and the ferry we still had quite a few miles to go so about half way we called into a French services to have a twenty minute rest or as in our case a walk about and a cup of coffee, then it was on our way once more to Calais. After half a dozen naps and god knows how many cornfields we at last reached the port of Calais and Martin took us to a very large warehouse type shop where we all got out of the bus and had a look around you could buy all sorts of beer and wines and loads of other items, to be honest nothing seemed any cheaper than at home so we never got a thing, there was a man selling fish and chips just across from the warehouse so we went over and bought a bag of chips each sat on a bench in the sun and ate them while chatting to a few others who had the same idea, they was a very large bag of chips for the money so we was wishing we had bought a bag between us to be honest.

Then in no time at all it was back on the bus and heading for the ferry terminal

We reached the terminal and got in line to board the ferry, martin told us we would be going over on a brand new ferry that was only eight months old but we had an half hour wait before we could board it, he told us we could get off the bus and stretch our legs but only the smokers bothered to disembark most of us just sat and waited.

In no time at all things started to move and we boarded the ferry called the spirit of Britain, it was a huge boat like a city on the water.

We found a nice spot on deck and of course I got my camera out and took some photos we had at least an hour and a half to kill so we decided to have a good look around, we bought a coffee and some crisps with the last of our euros and they gave us back the change in pounds shillings and pence so we had no more euros to get rid of, they had everything you could think of on the ship loads of seating and shops, bars, and even play area’s for the kids, while out on deck I had noticed some people who were very high up, it looked very much like a private area, so I wondered how I could reach it to take some good photos.

We looked round the ship and found a lift that had up to deck nine on it, so we got in

And went all the way up to the ninth floor.

On getting out of the lift we had a look around but there did not seem to be anyone around, on turning a corner we came to a glass door, looking beyond we could see people sitting in very comfy chairs and others sitting at a bar, the door had no handle but it did have a sign with a card lock of some kind, the card said put in security card and slide down to open door.

Well not having a card I just gave the door a push and guess what it opened so in we went, no one even gave us a second look so out on to the ninth deck of the ship we went, we had a wonderful view and right above everyone else on the ship. We stayed

Our Paris weekend part eight (continued)

Up there for the rest of the voyage, and then we hit a little snag. It came over the loudspeaker system of the ship “ will all passengers please go to their transport

Ready to leave the shop” well we had got in but I could not open the door to get out.

We never had a card did we, lucky for us a waiter was passing and I asked how do I open the door, he said oh allow me sir and he opened it for us using his card so off we dashed to the lift went down to deck five and got to the bus before anyone else had even reached it.

Not that it mattered as Martin was late anyway and all of us was there waiting by the time he arrived to let us on the bus.

Then it was all aboard and heading for the UK border passport office the first time we ever had to get our passports out, we had gone all the way to Paris and not had to show them at all but getting back into England we had to show them.

We all had to leave the bus and stand in line then one at a time go up to the counter of the passport office and he would scan or passport give a nod and let us through.

This being the first time we had ever done this we both felt a little apprehensive about it. But of course we had no need to be and it was back on the bus and on our way home.

After another very long ride and a stop at a British services for a coffee and a walk about we got into Newport at about nine fifteen, I had rang my son Andy already and

He was planning to pick us up at Cwmbran station were we thought we would be dropped off by the mini bus that we had to change over to at Newport, but the driver said to everyone that he would be dropping us off at our homes if we wished. so I gave Andy a quick ring to tell him he was quite happy as it saved him a trip.

We left Newport and got home about nine forty five, it had been a very busy but very exciting few days but we had enjoyed every minute of it.

Quote

When I was a Boy

When i was a boy

I fished the canal

with a stick some cotton

and a worm

 

I’d sit on the canal bank

In the warmth of the sun

And I’d watch

 has that worm did squirm

 

Back then the canal

Was filled with life

So full of wild creatures

It could be cut with a knife

 

Frogs, toads, sticklebacks

To name just a few

While over head

May fly’s and dragon fly’s flew

 

The water was clear

You could see to the mud

That bubbled with life

Like a giant soapsud

 

But now that I’m grown

The canal’s just a pit

Filled with old shopping trolleys

And all kinds of s**t.

 

The life is all gone

You can’t even find a snail

If you do find a frog

It is very sick and pale

 

Now when I walk the canal

I get a tear in my eye.

And the little boy inside me

he starts to cry

Back in 1979 I bought an old canvas two-seater canoe from a friend of my mother’s. It had a wooden frame and needed a lot of work to make it watertight.

So in the summer of 79 I spent a fair amount of time in my parent’s garden fixing up and painting my canoe. At last it was finished, now painted a deep green colour,

With the wooden panels vanished to perfection. Now all that was needed was a name so I decided to call her “THE NESSIE” after my wife Vanessa.

My first adventure came about a week later. I decided to take a trip up the canal, starting at the top of five locks on the canal just above the Cross Keys Pub.

I planned to paddle my canoe up as far as the basin at Pontypool then back again a distance of around seven miles. So with the help of my dear wife Vanessa we carried the canoe up from my parent’s house and set it down in the water.

Climbing aboard I gave my wife a wave and set out on my “epic” voyage.

The canal up as far as the long tunnel was quite clear of weed and the water was quite deep. But going through the tunnel some 260 feet in length was one thing I had dreaded. It seemed a very dark, and cold place to be venturing into.

And being all alone made it feel all that more spooky.

Yet in I had to go. So it was head down and paddled like mad. In no time at all I was on the other side and out in the warm sunshine. Taking a deep breath I paddled on up the canal. The water on the other side of the five locks tunnel was quite clear, but a lot of canal weed had built up and I found it quite hard going.

I tried my best to paddle through it but as I reached Sebastopol things got worse.

The water had become shallow and I had to avoid quite a bit of rubbish such as: old bedsprings mattresses, tin cans and an assortment of other bits. This more or less carried on until I reached the Crown Bridge at Sebastopol. I was sure I would have to take the canoe out of the water. As I was forcing the canoe through the mud with my paddle. Crown Bridge was not really a proper bridge at that time but just two large steel pipes, going under the road. With luck! I hoped to get my canoe through one of them. Using all the strength in my arms I headed for the pipes. By this time quite a few people had gathered perhaps to wonder at this nut in the canoe that was paddling in mostly mud. I did feel embarrassed at the time, but I felt a lot better when they gave me a cheer as I got through the pipe and out the other side.

The water was a lot deeper and clear of weed now, so I paddled on until I reached the “Open Hearth” Pub on the side of the canal. I was very tempted to call in for a few pints, but after coming more than half way and with my goal almost in sight I gave a sigh and paddled onward. The condition of the water was not bad at all until I reached the over powering pillars of the railway bridge at Griffith town. The canal before me and after this point was covered in thick green duckweed. With the towering bridge and the tree covering it looked and felt a very dark and foreboding place. It gave me the creeps. It was just like paddling over a dark green lawn, and at any time something could jump up out of the duckweed and grab my canoe and me and pull us under.

Boy was I glad to get from that place and out into the sunshine. At last my goal was in sight – the Basin at Pontypool. Another few minuets of paddling and at last I had reached my goal. Paddling over to the grass back I used my paddle to pull my canoe to the side. I got out and stretched my legs. I felt quite chuffed that I had reached my goal, but became apprehensive with the thoughts that I had to do it all again to get back home. After a rest of about twenty minutes I set off once more. This time I had the thought in the back of my mind that I would have a few pints in the Open Hearth on the way back. Off I set back through the spooky duckweed until I reached the pub.

I pulled into the side and tied up Nessie and set about having a few pints of cold beer sitting by the side of the canal, and feeling quite merry managed to get back into my canoe and paddled onward at a more leisurely pace.

I certainly didn’t feel in the mood to paddle through all that mud, so I decided to take the canoe out of the water at Sebastopol and carry it over the bridge.

Getting Nessie out of the water was the easy part, but trying to carry a two-seater wood and canvas canoe on your own was another matter. As luck would have it help was at hand. A kind gentleman seeing me struggle offered his help and in no time at all we was over the bridge and past the worst of the mud. I thanked the gentleman and put my canoe back in the water. About this time I started to feel the worse for all that beer I had drank, and keeping the canoe in a straight line was getting harder and harder, but worse was to come. As I reached the long tunnel. The thought of going through it when sober was frightening, but now going through was just a piece of cake. In I went; boy did I sober up fast. The light shining in from the far end of the tunnel reflected on the water, giving it the effect of me in my canoe paddling down the middle of a very large tube. It was all I could do to keep myself upright. 260 feet of tunnel seemed like a lifetime. I paddled as fast as I could at last I was out and in no time at all back at five locks on the canal above the Cross Keys Pub. Vanessa mum and dad where waiting for me. I had telephoned ness from the pub.

My little adventure over. Nessie had completed her maiden voyage. I had achieved my goal. Nessie was put to rest at the bottom of mum and dads garden waiting for me to take her on more adventures. …..The end

Have you ever been in the bath

and you just can’t find the soap

and no matter how you reach about

you haven’t got a hop.

Then suddenly you feel a tickle

at the end of your big toe

but by the time you reach for it

you find you been to slow.

Determined not to be beaten

you stand up in the bath

spot yourself in the mirror

and have a little laugh.

Then fishing about on hands and knees

you finally find your prize

but it slips right through your fingers

right before your eyes.

I think I’m going to learn to type
And not just use one finger
It will make a change
To use them all
And not let the others linger

I’ve been thinking of it for a while
But never seem to make the time
It always seems faster
To use one digit,
When I try to make things rhyme

So here I am typing away
With all my digits on the go
If my typing gets any slower
I’m going to have to use my toe

So it’s back to my old finger
My other hand can stay on my lap
My other four digits
Can hang around
And when he’s finished
They can all get together and clap.